The Holiday Battle

When you decide to get married, there are a lot of things to think about. Your mind is consumed by wedding planning, financial planning, and the euphoria of being a newlywed.

Never when I dreamt of my married life did I think about how much havoc holidays would wreak on our relationship. I dread the time of year that we have to sit down and decide where we're going to be on which holidays. It's a nightmare.

Every couple has the holiday battle, but I think we have a couple of weird factors that make it more complicated than average. First, Mike is an only child, so if we aren't with his parents on a holiday, they're alone. Get that? Alone. On a holiday. So with the decision to spend any holiday with my parents comes the guilt of knowing that his parents are going to be on their own. His parents aren't shy about telling us how much they miss us, so it just makes it that much harder.

Second, I have three siblings, none of whom are married and have in-laws to worry about. You would think that would make things easier, but you'd be wrong. Our nuclear family holidays are still intact and, I have to say, a whole hell of a lot of fun. My immediate family is going to get together on the exact holiday whether Mike and I are there or not, simply because they don't have anywhere else to be. So it isn't like we can just schedule a family holiday whenever. That would just mean my mom would have to host two holidays -- one with us and one without us.

Lastly, our parents live within driving distance of each other. Again, you would think that this would make things easier. Again, you would be wrong. See, if your parents live on opposite side of the country, you can simply go to one and not the other and that's that. Not when you live close together. When your parents live within driving distance of each other, you have to find a way to see both within the span of just a few days. But it gets worse. Our parents are within driving distance, but it's a four-hour drive. With a dog. Ugh.

We've come up with a rough plan of attack for the 2010 holiday season, but we both feel like we're getting shortchanged with our families. Maybe that's the best sign that it's actually fair. If neither of us is happy, we must have a least somewhat of a balance. I'm sure we'll change our plans again before it's all said and done, but so be it.

And as we slug it out, there's one thing that keeps coming to mind: If it's this bad now, what's going to happen when we have kids?

Are you kidding me?

OK, this is a total side note, but I have to vent for a second.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I love reality TV. Mostly because I love feeling superior to the freaks and psychos that agree to let people follow them around with cameras.

But here's what really kills me: The lack of common sense these people display.

For example, I'm currently watching and episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians (please feel free to judge me) in which Kourtney doesn't want to go into the drug store to by KY because she doesn't want the paparazzi to see what she's buying.

Ummm, hello. You're concerned that the paparazzi are going to see you so you're talking about how you don't want to buy lube IN FRONT OF A BUNCH OF TV CAMERAS?!? I mean, seriously? Seriously?

What is the matter with these people? This also goes back to my issue of people who agree to let cameras follow them around and then get pissed when paparazzi (a.k.a., people with cameras) follow them around. You don't get to invite people into your life and then expect everyone to respect your privacy. Is it right? Maybe not. Is it reality? Absolutely.

Vent over.

How I Know I'm Not Motivated By Money

Tonight I saw a preview for a movie with a pretty standard storyline: guy is super successful, guy has millions of dollars, guy thinks he has everything, guy meets girl, guy loves girl but girl doesn't love guy, guy realizes he doesn't have everything.

And it got me thinking -- I am not motivated by money. And this is how I know:

1. Even though I get paid hourly (and at a really good rate), I really hate the fact that I was at work for an extra two and a half hours on two different nights this week.
2. When I say, "I wouldn't do that for a million bucks," I almost always mean it.
3. No matter how much money I have, my favorite bottle of wine will still only be $9.
4. When I see really enormous houses, I always think about how long it would take to clean them really well. (I also think about the complications of cleaning when looking at vaulted ceilings.)
5. I'm in graduate school to be a librarian.

How Do Coupon People Do It?

Ever since I started grad school, money has been a little tight around our house. I work part time, but I just cover the cost of my tuition so there's not a whole lot of extra money in our account these days. Don't get me wrong, I'm really glad that I decided not to take out student loans and save myself all the debt. But I do miss being a DINK (dual income no kids) household and having all of that expendable income. In fact, I'm kicking myself now for spending so much of that expendable income.

I've been really trying to be more money-conscious lately and find places where we can save more. The first obvious place I decided to start is with coupons and sales. I admit that I'm really bad about using coupons or shopping the sales. I just get what I need to get when I need to get it. Sure, I'll shop around a little, but fore the most part, convenience trumps savings for me. I know I know, it sounds stupid, but honestly, that's the truth. I've tried using coupons in the past, but mostly I'd clip a few weeks' worth, forget to take them to the store, and then quit the whole thing.

Honestly, I think it's kind of a pain in the ass. You always have to be thinking ahead and make sure you have your coupons with you. You have to have a constant mental inventory of anything you might be running out of so that you can stock up when it's on sale. And (because I love to shop), I'm never quite sure if I'm buying something because I need it or because it's a great deal. Plus, I love my brands. I'm a brand loyalist and I'm not ashamed of it. There are plenty of things that I buy generic, but other things are non-negotiable. That inflexibility makes sale shopping a little more difficult.

But today, I am re-committing myself to shopping the sales. We get the daily paper, so there really is no excuse for me to not cruise the sale ads and make good use of them. In fact, this week Kohls had an amazing sale and I saved $49 on a set of flannel sheets and dishcloths! These were purchases I was already planning to make, and had I not looked at the ad I probably would've just paid full price later on. So I guess I taught myself a lesson.

I'm just hoping I won't fall into my old habit of keeping it up for a week and then falling off the wagon again. (What can I say, I have trouble finishing what I start). I really want to make this a change that I keep up and will save us some money. I'm learning more and more that every penny counts. I'm trying not to think of all the money I haven't saved over the years by not using coupons. It's too painful.

So, who has some money-saving tips for me?

Hiking into Fall

My husband, Mike, and I took a trek north to Marshall, Indiana, this past weekend in honor of a new family tradition. This is the second year that we've met up with all of my siblings and their significant others to go hiking at Turkey Run State Park.

For me and my siblings, Turkey Run holds a lot of sentimental memories. My parents used to takes us there when we were kids and we just loved it. Looking back, I have no idea how they managed to take four small children there and bring them all out alive, but it made for some fond memories.

If you've never been to Turkey Run, you must go. I'm not a real outdoorsy girl, but even I love it. It's heavily wooded and you hike through creek beds and gorges, climb stairs (natural and manmade) and generally get lost in the middle of nowhere. It's especially wonderful in the fall -- it isn't too hot and the crunchy, colorful leaves make you feel like your hanging out on Walden Pond.

We hiked the hardest trails, worked up a sweat and then parked at a picnic table to enjoy some pumpkin bread (which turned out beautifully and is a total keeper) and apple cider. All around, it was a perfect fall day.

The only downside to the whole thing was that it made me realize how out of shape I've gotten. Granted, my triathlete brother was leading us all along at a pretty quick pace, but I was definitely having a harder time than everyone else. And two days later, I'm still sore.

So two good things came of hiking: I got a great day with my brothers and sister and it gave me incentive to get back in shape (starting next week -- I swear).

10 Reasons to Love Autumn

In no particular order...

• Pumpkins! (as discussed previously, I have an unnatural obsession)
• Mums -- they're gorgeous and colorful and all around smile-inducing
• Football games and tailgating and all that that entails
• Apples! (right up there with pumpkins in my book)
• Crunchy leaves -- I will never get tired of trudging through a big pile of fall leaves and stomping like a 5-year-old
• Sunsets that make the whole world look like it's glowing
• Crisp mornings that make dog-walking less of a chore
• Cozy rainy days -- you can't feel guilty about staying in and curling up with a book instead of being social
• Crafts -- OK, maybe it's just me, but fall makes me want to launch into hands-on projects (maybe its the residual effect of childhood handprint turkeys)
• Sweater season -- there's something about a chunky knit, a pair of jeans and some boots that's too American and autumnal for words

It's the Great Pumpkin!

Among the many reasons I love fall is the fact that it miraculously becomes socially acceptable to integrate pumpkin (or any squash, for that matter), into every meal and baking adventure. I LOVE pumpkin in a really unreasonable way, so the falling of the leaves signal at least a couple of months of squash-laden meals in my house.

Fall took a long time to get to Indiana this year. Until just this week, we were still having days in the 90s, so it didn't feel very pumpkin-y outside. When the weather took a turn for the cool this week, I knew it would finally be time.

I decided to start the season with some pumpkin bread. I found a recipe online, and though I don't usually trust random recipes, this one had some signs that it would be worth a shot. First of all, it came from Epicurious and is out of an issue of Bon Appetite. That's some pretty good cred right there. But to top it off, the recipe was submitted by someone named Vern who lives in West Frankfort, Illinois. I mean, come on. How can you not trust Vern? Plus, it includes walnuts. Sold.

It came together really quickly and made the house smell like Thanksgiving. It has cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg, so the spice smells heavenly.

We're heading to Turkey Run tomorrow with my siblings to do some hiking, and I'm going to pack the pumpkin bread and a gallon of apple cider to help us recover. It should be the perfect fall day. I'll let you know if the recipe ends up being a total failure, but if the bread tastes anything like it smells, it'll become a seasonal staple.

Welcome to Blogtober!

It's so depressing to log into my blog and see that my last post was August 19.

Pathetic.

I knew it had been a long time, but that's just sad. That's why I hereby deem this month to be known as Blogtober!

The goal? To blog every single day for the entire month.

I know that sounds crazy and even unreasonable, especially since I didn't post yesterday. But in my defense, I wrote a blog post (while I was drunk) and had the foresight not to actually hit "Post." After reading the post this morning, I realize what a good decision it was. So you can expect two posts today.

But back to my original point. Will it be a challenge? Absolutely. But as library school becomes increasingly demanding and I'm finding myself with every minute of my life scheduled, I realized I need to take more time just for me. This blog will be a way for me to take a moment, take a deep breath, and reflect on my life a little. I'm hoping it will force me to reflect a little more and make my life seem a lot less like Groundhog's Day.

So, with that in mind, I launch into a month of daily posts. I don't know what will come of it, but I hope you enjoy it.