The eternal hunt for motivation

I am afflicted with a horrible disease: laziness.

My body, when at rest, tends to stay at rest. Which is a huge problem. Exercise and physical activity aside, I just tend to not do things. This morning I wasted a good five hours of time that I could have spent being productive.

Granted, I wasn't sitting around watching TV; I was sitting around reading. (However, due the the questionable intellectual value of the book--though funny--it doesn't actually qualify as time well spent.) But I should have been dusting or vacuuming or washing dishes or anything other than what I was doing.

And it seems like the less I have to do, the less I want to do. Back when I was struggling to get everything done for class and work and take care of my husband, I had all sorts of things I wanted to do and spent every minute of my day trying to fit in my to-do list. Now that I have some extra time on my hands, I have no drive. My laziness overtakes my soul.

Unfortunately, one of the symptoms of laziness is procrastination. So while there are at least 100 things I know I should do, I don't do them. For example, last week I was all proud of myself for closing my personal bank account. Yeah, be real proud there, lazy ass, because it only took you TWO YEARS.

After I wasted my morning, I thought, "How am I ever going to be able to have kids? I can't even get my act together when it's just the two of us." I made myself feel better by telling myself that I'm just banking my lazy hours now so that when I can't be lazy years from now, I'll feel better about it. (Hey, don't judge, it made me feel better, even if it is completely crazy.)

So for now, I'm going to try to find the cure for laziness: motivation. I'm sure it's in my house somewhere. Maybe if I clean up a little I'll find it.

Or I could finish my book...